# space: weird fantasies about owning a big empty space in a city.

i like to daydream about stuff i would do in particular situations. that does not mean that actually want to do said stuff though. i just want to play with the thought. today's topic is what would i do if i owned a big, enclosed, private, empty space in the middle of a city? something like a 20 person conference room. an apartment with a huge living room but no kitchen or bedrooms. this would be at a different place from what i call home. i could rent it, sure. but that is boring. what would i do if i had to make use of it myself? what events would i organize in it?

there are many crazy ideas to choose from! the first idea that pops into my mind is to create a place for videogame lan parties. i do not like the modern, isolating online gameplay but lan parties can be pretty fun because you know the people you frag, you can see their face when you frag them. i could even install a projector and play crew or bridge simulators like artemis. but maybe i would restrict the games we can play to the ones that run on a raspberry pi. all the gaming machines would be only raspberry pi machines. i guess not many people would be interested in playing but the ones that would be interested are probably somewhat similarly crazy as me so i would find it more fun this way.

it would be also fun to build something together with a small team (also only working on raspberry pies just for the sake of it). we could gather every now and then and build random game or website in a hackathlon style. the projects could be about reimplementing modern tools and games to be super efficient so that they are so fast that you could use them on a raspberry pies.

hmm, let me go full crazy mode while at this. as i hinted in a previous post i have some issues around sexual expression, intimacy and so on. although i keep searching for it, i cannot find events in this area that would spike my interest. maybe i could start organizing events in this space. i have bunch of ideas. i do not necessarily like them all the same but i would totally try some of them.

my first idea would be to create a nude gym. is it not the case that the ancient greeks used to train and compete completely nude? there is some sort of magic to this. in my fantasy these events have a relatively stable set of people rather than different set of strangers showing up in every session. i think nudity boosts the intimacy between people which deepens friendships and respect between ourselves. being in a friendly and respectful environment can be very motivating in achieving our goals. also i just like to look at naked bodies, especially if they are well and fit. if the cost of this is that i have to train next to them then i think that is a cost i can gladly pay. by myself i have zero motivation to do any physical exercises.

my next crazy idea is a "grooming exchange". i like to be clean and shaved most of the time. but shaving is such a boring activity. what if i had to shave other people and other people would shave me? i do not have problems with seeing or touching bare bodies. i think doing such things together would be quite fun. people can chat and bond while shaving or whatever special grooming the other person requires. and i would even feel some sense of accomplishment that i managed to make someone else's life a little bit easier.

i feel that there is a lot of shame in people around their bodies. they feel that it is something to be ashamed of, something to hide. i think that is nonsense and in fact i swing way too much into the other direction: the bodies should be actively shared and exhibited. so my next idea is about trying to reduce the shame around nudity and help with the body acceptance. this would be a group activity. each participant goes in front of the group and completely disrobes. then each audience member describes the person's body in a very neutral and objective manner. the point of the exercise is to disassociate ourselves with our body features and body flaws. it does not matter how our body looks like. having others objectify our body helps us treat our body as a tool to for achieving our goals rather than an end in itself. hmm. i am not entirely sure about this one. it might be a useless exercise. but i think it would be still interesting to give this idea a try.

or how about a masturbation club? it is pretty clear to me that there is a lot of private masturbation going on in a lot of folks lives. but why does this have to be such a private thing? what is it about it that makes it so disgusting that we do not do it together? i think once we accept our bodies, our feelings and the fact that we are not all that different from each other, this activity can become an okay thing to do together. sure, the first few sessions would be totally weird but once the initial shock wears off, it becomes a normal thing. there are several ways to do this, i think it really depends on the folks involved how they want to do it. the participants just can sit in a circle and have a go at it. maybe they want to watch some videos on a phone or laptop during session, that is okay. maybe they just want to watch others, that is okay too. the other benefit of doing this regularly is that this can defuse the obsessiveness of this act. one of the reasons for all the uncontrolled masturbation is that sexual gratification is pretty much random: you might or might not get some gratification based on other people's mood and your luck. masturbation is just a coping mechanism against this randomness. i think if i can get gratification regularly, the need for the constant gratification disappears. if i can get myself to masturbate only with others, i cannot go overboard with it since i would be limited to doing it only during the encounters.

there is this thing called orgasmic meditation. i do not actually know much about it so let me reinvent it from scratch. this activity is done in pairs. one person lies down on the floor and the other person is stroking or otherwise stimulating the first person's genitals in a very simplistic manner for a long time without any changes in the stimulation pattern. i quite like this picture. the stimulator's job is very simple: just keep doing what they are doing. there is no performance expectation. the person on the floor can relax, daydream. orgasm is not the point here. i can compare this against a massage. for instance an ordinary back massage can get boring after a while, especially if it is the same movement over and over again. massage requires constant adjustments, changes in stimulation and so on so it is hard to get fully relax into it. and even if one relaxes into it, they might fall asleep which somewhat suggests that it was boring. but i can imagine it is somewhat different with genitals: in general i think genital stimulation takes much much longer time to get to the boring stage. more importantly genital stimulation sort of turns on one's mind (it fills it with sexual thoughts) so they will not simply phase out but can actually consciously enjoy the quiet time. i think doing this in a group is beneficial because then because the people can swap partners all the time so the novelty factor keeps people interested in the activity.

now let me fantasize about more sexually explicit activities. i do not have much sexual experience outside my primary relationship but i am not particularly seeking such activity either. that is mostly because of a combination of me being lazy and shy. however i do yearn for some extra experience. so i am thinking of a "guided sexual encounter". this would be ideal for super shy, non-communicative and submissive people like myself. in this activity you bring or are matched with a sexual partner. each person writes some preferences, no-nos and other notes onto a slice of paper and gives it to the guide. the guide reads the preferences, thinks of a scenario and starts suggesting actions to do for the participants. all the participants have to do is just simply follow the instructions. instructions could be something along the lines of touch here, massage that part, stroke faster and so on. there is no performance anxiety since the participants can project that onto the guide. this activity does not really require a group unless the activity guided is a group sex itself. but still, i suspect doing stuff together, even if it is silly stuff, can be a great fun.

in fact i could go further with this "guided sexual encounter" thing. how about something like a drama or acting club? there would be a script where all members have a role to play and they have to act out the story. i am envisioning acting out favourite sex or porn scenes (mild ones that contain more interaction rather than sex). the nice thing is that this allows anxious people acquire sexual experiences in a very controlled manner. since there is a script, everyone knows what will happen, there will not be surprises. one can mentally prepare well ahead for the event. i am not fully sure how fun this would be or if there are even scripts that make sense but i think there is some potential in this and would be fun to explore it a bit.

and the most explicit fantasy is just having a sex club. i am not thinking of a free for all group sex here but something more akin to the masturbation club. couples or groups would come and just have their sex next to the other couples or groups. or people can join just to watch and masturbate. at this stage this might be a little bit intimidating even for me. but it does not sound a boring activity.

so those would be the activities i would be thinking of organizing. couple of notes. first, i would totally ban any food and drink consumption in this place. food and drinks create a lot of waste, it is just simply less maintenance this way. and besides, food and drinks is often just a passive, pure consumption activity and i would rather avoid having such activities take place there. i would especially prohibit alcohol and other drugs in this place. primarily because i do not like alcohol, secondly i think it is healthier if we can blast through our insecurities without the help of drugs. drugs can alter people's personality, make them less controllable which is something i do not want to deal with at my place either.

there is also a problem of where would i find people interested in such activities. from all i can see is that most people find sex, nudity and intimacy with strangers disgusting to even talk about. my craziest idea about this is to create a special social network for this if one does not already exist. anyone can join the network but in order to establish a connection with another person ("become friends") both people need to: a) have seen the other person's genitals in person, and b) know what the other person's sexual fantasies are. the goal for the individuals in the network would be to gather as many friends as possible. i ask only for genitals rather than full nudity because the latter can be hard to arrange while the former can be done in a form of a flash almost anywhere. so people meaning to become friends can have a date, talk about sex, flash to each other and then become friends on the network. what i want to encourage in this network to make sexuality a normal thing to talk about. when sex is a normal topic, people would be more comfortable telling what they like, where their boundaries are, ask for advice and so on. i do not like the fact that this topic feels very taboo in our society. i think being part of such a community would then make it easier for me to find like minded people. by "like minded people" i mean people who do not take life way too seriously, who are non-monogamous, non-judging, open sexually and so on.

but obviously i am way too lazy to set up something like that. actually i would much prefer if such clubs existed somewhere else where i could just go. although i suspect i would be way too anxious to go to such place anyways. maybe when i am old and retired, i might set up a club like this for the new generation. all this remains a daydream for now.

published on 2019-01-24

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